As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds his people from this time on and forevermore.
Psalm 125: 2
This year has been the most challenging in my walk with God and I hit rock bottom. The last thing I wanted to do was come before God, pray to Him, and seek His face.
I questioned God’s faithfulness, goodness, provision, and sovereignty, and yet I was questioning my own faith more than anything. I wanted to feel His presence and hear His audible voice just one time so that I may have the strength to go and believe God once again. But all I felt was loneliness, confusion, frustration, anger, bitterness, and weariness in mind, body, and spirit.
I wanted to quit everything and just give up and give in. I felt my pain wasn’t big enough to get God’s attention to speak to me and comfort me. Because we know it’s never too small to bring to God, but we just sometimes forget in our despair and loneliness.
I finally sat before God weeping and the only whisper from my heart was, “Please help me, Holy Spirit”. And I heard His gentle voice reminding me of that HE IS FOR ME. All my hurt, anger, hate, pain, and confusion were washed away instantly in that sacred moment of brokenness, and I felt the Holy Spirit’s healing flowing through my spirit and bringing light to the deep, dark pit I was trapped in for weeks and months.
I whispered, “He is for me!” The whole time when I felt alone and helpless, the Lord has been surrounding me as a Good Father as He always has been from the beginning of eternity and all I have to do was receive it with childlike faith.
Whatever season you and I may find ourselves in, the most beautiful truth we can hold on to our hearts is that as the mountains surround Jerusalem, the Lord surrounds his people from this time on and forevermore in which our healing comes from.
God with us, remember that you are always surrounding us in love. Amen.
Zaya Gilmer is Program Manager, Lutheran Disaster Response – US.
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